City plans to build more condos, houses, strip clubs, due to lower development fees

The city of Hammertime unanimously made a decision today to allow more condos, and strip clubs to be built to satisfy community needs.

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Bolshevik Mayor Andrea Lomonosov said in a briefing earlier today that affordable dollar store townhouses are a priority for a thriving city. The city also wants to build affordable condos that reach the heights of Mount Everest. Free public transportation is also on the menu, as are free drug dispensaries at every corner where animals that smell like skunks can be found. The mayor was asked where all of this money is coming from, to which she replied, "We expect everyone to chip in and work for free. After all, sharing is caring". Other Bolshevik leaders like Lenin once said that working together as a team creates a higher yield, so we understand where the message is coming from. This was all made possible by lowering the development fees the city charges developers to build houses. City taxes are expected to go up, but only for home owners who the city considers "rich".

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Residents we spoke with this afternoon are furious that the city would even suggest building more homes when supply just can't keep up with demand. We met up with Ed, who said "Even if you have a head start on the cheetah, the cheetah will always catch up". Wealthy money-laundering residents from neighbouring cities are said to be partly to blame, as they're all flocking to the city in hopes to cash in and further hide their dirty stash. We have no idea what kind of laundry soap they're using, but it must have some kind of colour guard inside.

City planners also said that strip clubs are lacking in the downtown core and hope to revitalise it. Gone are the neon lights, overpriced booze, and girls in 10-inch stilettos. The city said building a new strip club will be part of their new urban planning development in hopes of attracting overseas tourists. A city councillor who was asked to remain anonymous was opposed to a Red Light District in the downtown core, but said the local homeless residents would be mistaken for The Walking Dead cosplay fans.

In other news, scooters the width of buses appeared on the streets causing drivers to shake their heads. 500 opioid overdoses were reported this week. That's down from 500 a few days ago. We'll have more on that when more deaths happen.

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