1 Million Dollars Needed to Buy a Home In The Hammer

At least 1 million dollars in dirty monopoly money needed to buy a home these days....

Everywhere you go, houses are going up in price faster than the weekly lottery jackpot. Nobody can afford one, that's unless you're bringing back golden nuggets all the way from Asia. Tourists as they call themselves carry more gold in their pockets than a chipmunk can store in its cheeks. That's impressive for someone wobbling around carrying a little bit of chunky change with them.

Golden Nuggets. Yummy.

The government doesn't care as dirty money is still money. You just have to clean it a little and iron it out on the clothesline. The average Canuckstanian just can't afford a house these days. Even before the government garnishes one fifth of their wages firstly. What's their solution? The government wants people to build themselves mobile tents, that way when police come to bulldoze their way to the donut shop, the homeless, I mean people, can flourish somewhere else and repeat the cycle again.

Almost one quarter of houses are foreign owned, bought using potato chips from casinos. The illegal money used to buy homes is transported via Free Willy across the ocean while a fisherman using broken English lures the trained whale to the port. The whale is rewarded with a lifetime supply of Captain Highliner Fish Sticks. The money is then sanitized using Mr.Clean before entering a designated casino where headbutts are exchanged.

I think Free Willy can retire a happy whale

Is there an end to all of this monopoly money? Hell no as Stone Cold Steve Austin would say. The sky's the limit, and that's the bottom line.

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