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| Vaccination Beta Testing Phase |
Originally posted from the Hammertime Chronic Newspaper. Used without permission....
It's something out of a Marvel Movie, or so it may seem. A Hammer-Time man in his 40's injected himself with home made spinach, green giant sweet peas, and other stuff all in the name of finding the next COVID-19 cure.
Gary Holmes of Hammertime was just an ordinary man, like Chris Evans in the movie Captain America. He had a little muscle, and and a lot of ambition. He was sick and tired of lock-down orders from the likes of Duggie The Wild Behemoth Whale invading BBQ restaurants and stealing their baby back rips. Gary did the unthinkable not even Dr.jekyll would think of and created his own vaccine. He found a used needle in the back alley way, and cleaned it up since all of the needles were sold out of every Hammer Time drug store. Gary saved the needle for later use, but was surprized of how many needles junkies use.
** A quick note, junkies, or druggies, whatever you want to call them make the Walking Dead look like angels.
Gary was working on the formula for weeks, trying to perfect it so it wouldn't cause blood clots. His formula included Russian Vodka, Green Peas, spinach in a liquid form. His first test made his eyes blood shot, and his hair was changing colour. His pants were ripping, not because they were worn out, but because he noticed his muscles getting bigger. His urine even changed green.
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| It can be used in anything and for everything |
When he went outside, he noticed more looks and stares from the opposite sex, even though Gary has never had a girlfriend, and seems to be more interested in the next Marvel Universe movie. Gary said he now had a thing for dogs, but we're not going there. It didn't bother him that people looked at him strangely. He was obsessed with everything green. French frog legs, broccoli, and he started adding those in his recipe. His friend works as a microbiologist and suggested to add dead cells to the mix. His friend wouldn't say where those dead cells came from or what they would do.
Gary said in an interview "I created this vaccine for myself to end this lock-down. No more, means No more". He also stated "They will have to shoot me to stop me".
One day while getting up for work, Gary did not wear his 3 ply toilet paper mask outside. He said he didn't need it. He said he woke up powerful. He went on the bus with no mask, and feuded with the bus driver. Gary picked him up and threw him across the street and said today I'm driving. The people cheered with joy and thought it was some sort of act, and they threw off their mask. Gary started handing out his new COVID-19 vaccine, and people started self-injecting themselves with their own needles. Presumably because they too are drug addicts.
The mayor of Hammer-Time issued out a statement after they heard of a green man peacefully handing out this new non-FDA approved vaccine to others on the bus. The city said they would take swift action against the the culprit because pharmaceutical companies weren't getting their own cut, and mayor said this has nothing to do with his own family run business.
Gary now doesn't need a mask, or doesn't need to use the bus since he's faster than all means of transportations. The Premiere of Onstario could not be reached for comment because Doctors were trying to remove a spare rib bone from the Premiere's throat.
Is this the end of COVID-19? Could it be a non-government approved drug can save the day, or this for a sequel of 2008's The Hulk movie... We'll find out in the coming months.
For questions or comments, please leave a comment below. If you're looking for this vaccine, please remember, only government officials are allowed to get it currently, as normal people aren't people enough to get it.